Xian: Skeletina (Ditty)

Dearest Xian

This morning, as you were changing into your school uniform, I couldn't help but notice your "bag of ribs".

Yes, the same ones you love to air strum on - your boney body guitar.

And I know every time I start singing your Skeletina song, the one I created, you'll go, "Hey Mum-my! Stop-it!"

I never wrote the words down but now I think I should in case I grow old and forget everything. Then all the silly songs and lullabies I've created for you and your sisters will be lost forever. :(

I've decided to type this here. When you have kids on your own, you can share with them the silly stuff I've created. I'll do the same for Wen and Wei too!

So, Xian, here's your very own special Skeletina song.

With love always
Mummy



Skeletina

Ske-le-ti-na
Ske-le-ti-na
She's a boney girl

Ske-le-ti-na
Ske-le-ti-na
In a boney world

Ske-le-ti-na
Ske-le-ti-na
She is very thin

Ske-le-ti-na
Ske-le-ti-na
She's all bones and skin

Teo Yuan Ching
30 July 2012

Copyright © Teo Yuan Ching

Xian: Letter 2

Dearest Xian

I was disappointed when I found that you'd done badly for your Spelling (3) and Spelling (4) - not because you scored 3/10 and 5/10 respectively, but because you deliberately kept this from me. And I only found out because I checked your school bag to see what I could remove to reduce the weight of your bag.

I remember asking you several times about your spelling exercises, and you kept telling me your teacher didn't give you the dates. I didn't question you simply because I trusted you, although I found it a little strange that you'd only completed two spelling exercises so far - both in which you scored full marks. 

This proves that if you put in some effort, you will be able to perform. The only reason why you fared badly was because you didn't revise your work. And you know that's the truth. All these little components do count as marks for your continuous assessment, and these will come a long way in the final grade because they will help you pass the subject. 

I know taking the exams is a real struggle for you and that's why I always tell you to try your best to pass the paper. I know your limitations and have adjusted my expectations accordingly. While you may not be able to score 'A's or 'B's, you are capable of passing the exams.

Your dyslexia isn't moderate or severe, so you shouldn't use that as a shield and conveniently take cover under it. Unfortunately you need to work extra hard just to get the same results as your friends who may not put in much effort at all.

I've said this to you many times and will say it again. I'm happy just to see you improve, even if it's only half a mark. But I get upset when you don't even try because I know you can do it.

You're worth much more than superficial grades in the report book. But in Singapore's education system, you do need to produce a decent set of results to move on. While I've spoken out many times against a system that disadvantages academically weaker students, I've to accept the reality that things will not change. At least not anytime soon.

Please understand that my anger wasn't directed at your poor grades. I was upset because you tried to hide them. If you had studied, put in your best and got those results, I wouldn't have been so sad. And I've told you before that I'd rather you tell me the truth and face the consequences than to lie, because that would destroy my trust in you.

You'll be turning 10 in about a month's time. Very soon, you won't even want to hang around me anymore and that day may come sooner than I expect. I do understand what it's like, having experienced growing pains myself too.  I just hope that you won't push me away because no matter what happens, I will always be here for you. Do remember that, ok?

With love always
Mummy

Wen: Second Born (Poem)

Dearest Wen

I wrote a poem for Xian when she was born and when you came along, I did the same.

Now that you're turning 7 and can read fairly well, I've decided to post this here on a blog I've dedicated to my lovely girls and you can read it on your own.

Hope you like it!

With love always
Mummy

My Second Born - Wen

Second Born

18 August 2005
An extremely special Thursday
That’s when our peanut popped
And brightened our lives in a magical way

Born in the Year of the Rooster
She’s a darling baby Leo
Loved by mummy and daddy and big sis too
The perfect addition to our family trio

Cuddly and bright-eyed and adorable
She’s a rather feisty one
Already a champ in our eyes
Our second little Leonglet - Sook Mun

Teo Yuan Ching
4 September 2005

Copyright © 2005 Teo Yuan Ching

Xian: First Born (Poem)

Dearest Xian

Here's a short poem I wrote when you were about 1 week old. It's been 10 years since. Look at how you've grown!

Both your father and I have this pinned up in our office wall/cubicle together with the other poems I wrote when your sisters Wen and Wei were born. I thought it'd be nice for me to share it with you here on this space. (I'd already published this on my personal blog a few years ago).

How many kids have poems written about them? Perhaps there will be others who can boast about it, including yourself, but most wouldn't be able to do so. Remember that your crazy mum loves to dabble in bits of writing, so you really shouldn't be surprised by this! :)

Enjoy this simple poem!

With love always
Mummy

My First Born - Xian

First Born

Mummy's cherubic angel
Daddy's darling little girl
Kickin', wrigglin' and screamin' she did
Into her brand new world

Daddy's pretty princess
Mummy's precious pearl
Charming her way into our lives
With every gesture, smile and gurgle

Mummy's lovely baby doll
Daddy's apple-of-the-eye
The Chinese zodiac swift Steed reigns in her
As does the sign of the twins - Gemini

Tiny in size though she may be
But in our hearts she's a sure-fire win
Born 29 May 2002 on a Wednesday
Our first little Leonglet - Sook Yin

Teo Yuan Ching
7 June 2002

Copyright © 2002 Teo Yuan Ching

Xian: Letter 1

Dearest Xian

I know it's been tough on you ever since you stepped in Primary 1. And I know it grew worse when the years plodded along.

I'm aware of your reluctance to get out of bed every morning during school days and the dread you face when you return home.

Let me reassure you that you're not alone in this journey for I'm here with you every step of the way. Don't you think it hurts me to watch you belittle yourself? It's heartbreaking for me that you're just a mere shadow of your former self. You've lost the bright sparkle in your eyes and in place I see the self-doubt and disillusionment.

I wish the others can see you the way I do: a beautiful, compassionate girl with a big heart.

Of course I'd be lying if I said that I'm completely satisfied with your school grades. I know you're putting in effort, and being dyslexic doesn't make studying any easier. So what if you've got a learning disability? There's nothing to be ashamed of as many great world leaders and famous people are dyslexic. I'm quite sure they also struggled when they were young, and unkind words were often said to them too.

Don't be discouraged. Your time to shine will come, perhaps later rather than sooner. But that shouldn't stop you from believing in yourself.

And please don't think that your father doesn't love you because that's the furthest from the truth. It's difficult for him to express himself as that's the way he is. When he raises his voice and utters those cutting words, he does it because he wants you to "wake up" and prove him wrong. Don't blame him. I know it hurts because I'm equally affected, but he's doing what he truly believes is for your own good.

He worries for you and fears that you'll be ridiculed and taken advantage of, and he's trying to "toughen" you up so that you'll be able to take care of yourself when we're not able to do so in future. So please don't think any less of your father because he loves you dearly, much more than you can ever imagine.

There's so much I want to share with you, and now I realised I should have started writing to you much earlier. But I don't want to overwhelm you with too much now. I also want to tell you that I cherished our heart-to-heart talk today, and I hope you've understood why things happen the way they did.

You'll realise by now that I am very different from the rest of the family, and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. What I do know is that this is how I am, and I'm not going to change just because some people may disapprove of my way of handling situations. To me, my children take priority over everything, and I will fight for you and your sisters all the way.

But this will do, for now. Remember that we love you very, very much. And NEVER give up.

With love always
Mummy